Hey ‘Radders!
Hope your HELLADAYS were awesomely amazing. Ours were, and we wanted to share the highlights with you…in haiku form. So! Without further ado, we bring you our contributors’ poetic versions of their Christmas weekend:
HELLAday Haikus
Christmas came and went
Friends farted everywhere
Farticles. Die Hard.
(by skato)
Big guns a-blazin’
‘Murrkah rides into World Cup
Have a Xanax, guys
(by windigo)
Eighty degrees yo
Fuck yeah, Hawaii betches
Suck on that Christmas!
What the fuck you guys?
Santa toilet seat cover?
Is nothing sacred?
(by carson b. demented)
this year kinda blew
next year will be galactic
fucking galactic
beer and then more beer
now add whiskey then some more
ok, now repeat
pretty good haiku
oh snap it just got better
hellarad haiku
shot gunning a beer
hoping you all feel our cheers
shot gunning more beer
(by mister moxxxie)
Christmas miracle:
No one’s on the 405
I’ll drink to that!
(by kasey bomber)
fuck you december
phlegm-crusty lungs want you to
eat dicks from a bag
(by rioter’s block)
Did I fuck someone
at the holiday party?
Then why’s my pee burn?
A plate full of ham
is how we celebrate a
Jewish baby born.
Oh draedel, draedel,
draedel, you got me beat up
by white kids at school!
(by miles prower)
jack daniels’ egg nog
christmas story’s on all day
oh pajama jeans
snow on the ground, yeah
mock turtlenecks are so in
you crazy bastard
(by moxxxie)
(we love you guys, happy merry hooray fuck yeah!)
