Much to our dismay, Motley and I had to back out of heading to Portland this weekend. Hard as we tried, we couldn’t make enough money selling our dirty chonies online to be able to afford the trip (what with all the derby travel we’ve done this year, we’re flat broke). The realization that we’ll be missing out on a weekend of EPIC DERBS and REPPIN’ THE BLACK AND GOLD broke our tiny little black hearts into a thousand pieces. I cried. Motley screamed. We feared the worst. Until…
…this entertaining little piece of work showed up in my inbox. To be fair, I truly do not know who submitted it (you know nothing is sacred over here. I’d call ‘em out if I did). But I’ll be damned if it didn’t make me laugh.
To uh, gain a frame of reference (You’re out of your element, Donny!), you should attempt watching the complete Hometown Throwdown Pre-Game Show here. But don’t say we didn’t warn you.
To whomever brightened my otherwise shitty day, I thank you. Somebody better raise some hell for us this weekend in the Rose City.
Love,
Moxxxie and the ‘Rad










You imply that we are too dumb to understand. This is not the case. You are just hellaboring, instead of Hellarad. But whiskey can take care of that.
Next time we will include a drinking game so you’ll find it easier to understand and follow along.